


my lilac soul and your heart of gold

by nowayout



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pack Bonding, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 17:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2158857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowayout/pseuds/nowayout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s still learning, okay? He’s allowed to have a question or two about this whole anchors thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my lilac soul and your heart of gold

**Author's Note:**

> Because I desperately needed some fluff. Before the next ep airs and makes me feel even more depressed.

 

The first time Scott brings up the subject, trying to explain what anchors mean to werewolves, what their purpose is and how to find one, Liam can’t help feeling a little confused because, okay, he understands why Scott is saying that he should find an anchor before the next full moon, but, um. He kind of has one already? And he thought it was obvious?

 

Scott, however, continues his lesson of the day, telling Liam that an anchor can be a person or a feeling or a memory, basically anything that can calm him down and make his human side stay in control, reason over instinct and all that, and Liam thinks, well, if Scott hasn’t noticed, maybe it’s not that obvious. Maybe he’s been wrong this whole time and it’s all in his head. Just because Scott is his Alpha, it doesn’t mean that he has to be his anchor too, that’s not how it works, right?

 

Maybe he needs to find a real anchor.

 

Yeah. Maybe.

 

///

 

Being friends just with Scott is not a thing, Liam learns quickly. First of all because Scott and Stiles are kind of a package deal, two ungainly halves of a very uncoordinated whole that really shouldn’t work but somehow really does, attached at the hip and communicating by pulling faces and flailing at each other because words were invented for lesser people. And Liam knows what it’s like to have a best friend, he wouldn’t give Mason up for the world, so it doesn’t bother him that Stiles is around all the time – okay, maybe it does a little, but that’s only because it’s obvious that Stiles doesn’t like him and he has no idea _why_ – and the girls are always nice to him, even if they seem to have trouble understanding that he’s fifteen and not five.

 

It’s just –

 

It would be fine if it was just them orbiting around Scott like they’re trying to build some kind of permanent shield to keep him safe. Liam gets it, he does that too, for fuck’s sake, being constantly worried about Scott is his new default setting these days, because Scott seems to think he’s Steve Rogers and has to save everyone. Friends look after each other, there’s nothing unusual about that – except Scott’s clique consists of not only teenagers with supernatural abilities and his hyperactive best friend, but also all these grown-ups who are willing to do anything and everything to protect Scott and have so much faith in him, like he’s precious and special and irreplaceable – which Scott definitely is. To Liam. He just thought he felt that way about Scott because of this ridiculous werewolf bond that he still doesn’t fully understand, but the more time he spends with these people that have somehow become such an important part of his life, the more obvious it becomes that it isn’t a werewolf thing. It’s a Scott thing. The way in which people are drawn to him, how he’s able to get under their skin and make them _care_ , like he’s a bright spot in a room with no windows or doors, warm and loving and so, so kind – it’s like Scott is everyone’s anchor.

 

Okay, so maybe Liam doesn’t know how this works yet.

 

///

 

“So what’s the deal with you and the upperclassmen?”

 

“Uh. What?”

 

Maybe if he frowns really hard at the screen Mason will think Liam is so focused on kicking his ass at Mario Kart that he can’t think about anything else, let alone hold a conversation. It wouldn’t be the first time.

 

Mason throws a green marshmallow at him.

 

“Was that supposed to get in my mouth? Cause you sort of missed.”

 

Mason throws the entire packet at him. “Stop playing dumb.”

 

“I’m not, Mase, but that was my shoulder, my mouth’s up here.”

 

He begins to grin and turns his head to stick his tongue out at Mason, but there’s a handful of marshmallows in his mouth before he can do or say anything else.

 

Mason smirks, pausing the game without taking his eyes off Liam. “Guess I didn’t miss after all.” He crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow expectantly. Liam pretends not to feel his heart going into overdrive. “Now, if you’re done with lame-ass attempts at deflection, I think I’d like to find out why my best friend’s been spending so much time with McCall and his pack lately.”

 

Liam chokes on the goddamn marshmallows, green goo flying everywhere as he starts coughing, Mason patting him on the back. “His what?” he squeaks and, wow, okay, he knows his voice is still changing, but the last time it sounded this high-pitched he was about eleven.

 

Mason rolls his eyes. “His crew, his gang, Beacon Hills’ very own Fellowship of the Ring, whichever you prefer. Dude, you’re gross. You okay?”

 

“Yeah, uh. M’fine.” He clears his throat, trying to gain some time until he’s able to get his thoughts together and come up with a believable excuse. Okay, so he’s never really explained to Mason why he’s suddenly all buddy-buddy with Scott, but he can’t exactly tell him that his anger issues have turned into growing-fangs-and-claws-when-overwhelmed-by-emotions issues, that their two so-called friends who turned out to be assassins would have killed him without blinking since he’s on a freaking list made by someone who has way too much money and one hell of a vendetta against supernatural beings, that he needs Scott in order to survive because he can’t do this on his own, doesn’t know how to control his body anymore, can’t stop his claws from coming out whenever they want to – like they’re trying to right now, holy shit, this is bad.

 

“Li? You sure you’re alright?”

 

He ducks his head and clenches his fists, feeling the claws dig into his palms. Is pain supposed to help, he can’t remember, but oh God, he’ll do anything as long as he doesn’t wolf out completely in front of Mason.

 

Scott said to think about something that keeps him human. Well, he’s trying not to turn into a monster and tear his best friend to shreds, and if that doesn’t make him want to stay human, he doesn’t know what else could.

 

But it’s exciting, knowing that he has the power to actually do that. To break someone in half as if they were a rag doll. Or a lacrosse stick. Like that guy, Derek, did in the locker room, looking right at Liam as he broke the stick in two, and Liam could feel all that rage, all that strength thrumming through his veins, and then Scott was calling his name –

 

“Liam!”

 

He blinks. What?

 

Mason looks a little worried and a lot confused, his eyebrows drawn together, mouth slightly open, but his hand is warm and familiar on Liam’s back. And it doesn’t look like he’s going to bolt out of the room screaming about glowing eyes and homicidal best friends, so Liam allows himself to hope that Mason hasn’t noticed anything. That maybe there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary to be noticed in the first place.

 

He shrugs, giving Mason an apologetic smile. “I’m fine. Just, you know, choking to death a little.”

 

Mason rolls his eyes again and punches him in the shoulder, just a little too hard for it to come off as a joke. “Fine, don’t tell me what’s up with you and McCall, but don’t kill yourself over it, man.”

 

Liam thinks about how Scott is basically the only reason no one’s managed to murder him yet, but that sounds pretty dramatic even in his own head and kind of impossible to explain, so he keeps his mouth shut and restarts the game.

 

///

 

He greets Scott with “I could’ve killed my best friend!” and he supposes there’s no use to try and act like he isn’t as terrified as he sounds, so he more or less throws himself into Scott’s arms because Scott’s hugs are the best tranquilizer.

 

Scott brings him into the living room, rubbing his hand up and down Liam’s back while he listens patiently to Liam throw up words and paranoia. Scott is going to be so disappointed, Liam is sure of it. And why wouldn’t he be, it was Liam’s fault he wasn’t able to control himself, it was all his fault –

 

“Liam, hey! Look at me!” Scott cups his face with both hands and Liam stops moving instantly. He’s waiting for that flash of red in Scott’s eyes but it never comes.

 

Liam’s noticed that Scott doesn’t like to use his power to control him in any way, which proves that Scott is basically a saint, but Liam can’t help thinking it would make both their lives easier if Scott just roared at him every now and then to remind him not to fuck things up. But that won’t happen. Scott’s told him how an Alpha can manipulate his Betas, make them do whatever he pleases, that he knows what it’s like, which is exactly why he promised Liam he will never try to get inside his head.

 

It’s a good thing, Liam tells himself. His head isn’t a very nice place to be in.

 

“Liam, look at me,” Scott says again, his voice gentle and firm at the same time. That’s a Scott thing, too. Liam doesn’t know anyone else who can simultaneously sound determined and soft, but Scott’s pretty good at it. “Nothing happened, okay?” he continues, one hand on the back of Liam’s neck, the other squeezing his shoulder gently. “You managed to control yourself, no one got hurt. That’s great, dude, you should be proud of yourself. And, uh –” Scott closes his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath like he needs a moment to mentally prepare himself for whatever he’s about to confess. “I don’t know if this is going to help, but. Okay, I didn’t know what I was doing, it happened before I learned to control the shift, but I, um, tried to kill Stiles once. Maybe twice.”

 

Liam snorts. “Can’t imagine why,” he blurts out and oh, wow, maybe he shouldn’t have said that out loud. In his defense, everybody threatens to strangle Stiles or rip his throat out at least once a day, but they’ve known him for longer than Liam has, so maybe they’re allowed to.

 

Scott bursts out laughing. “Hey! Okay, yeah, Stiles can be a –

 

“Pain in the ass?”

 

“– a little difficult sometimes, but he’s my brother and I love him,” he says, still half laughing, eyes crinkling at the corners, and Liam can’t help but smile too.

 

He would be a little ashamed if he didn’t know that’s the way everyone reacts to Scott.

 

He puts his arms around Scott’s waist and buries his face in the crook of Scott’s neck, inhaling deeply, letting his mind go blank. It’s easier to do that when Scott is around.

 

///

 

It goes like this:

 

His heart stutters, the tiniest warning that doesn’t really help much because it means it’s already too late, skipping a beat or two before it starts pounding. Sweating comes next, on his forehead at first, just below his hairline, drops of angry liquid fire trickling then down his neck, his arms, his entire upper body. It feels like iron bars are constricting his chest, heavy and unforgiving until he’s only barely breathing, getting tunnel vision, his world reduced to the cause of his rage. Everything else ceases to exist and he has no idea what is happening. He’s panting in front of his locker one moment, and the next thing he knows he’s trashing his coach’s car, relieved that he can finally breathe again before he begins to feel like he’s going to throw up, apologizing desperately to anyone who is willing to listen, but the thing is nobody’s listening, nobody believes he couldn’t help it.

 

Shifting feels similar, at least in the beginning; he doesn’t know what he’s doing, has no limits, no fears, no concept of right and wrong. And when he’s back to himself he can’t remember what he did, if he hurt himself, if he hurt anyone else.

 

But then Scott teaches him not to shut off his human side, to focus and remember who he is and where he is and who else is there with him, and, okay, maybe he couldn’t control his episodes, but he can control _this_.

 

///

 

He knows about Allison.

 

Well, he doesn’t know everything, because Scott looks like he wants to find a secluded spot and start crying if he has to talk about her for longer than three minutes, and the last thing Liam wants is to make Scott hurt.

 

But he knows enough. Knows that werewolves can lose their anchor, that it can change for whatever reason, and Scott’s given him the be-your-own-anchor talk already, but Liam doubts that would work for him when all he has inside is anger.

 

And, yeah, now he has to worry about sprouting fangs each time _any_ emotion gets too intense, but it’s easier to make it stop when he remembers Scott’s words and Scott’s kind eyes and Scott’s dopey smile.

 

It’s always the thought of Scott that brings him back.

 

Isn’t that what an anchor is supposed to do?

 

///

 

Stiles is a dick. Stiles is a dick to anyone who isn’t Scott and yes, that includes even Lydia and Malia sometimes. The only one who doesn’t get a dose of Stiles humor thrown at her at the most random moments is Kira because no one could ever be mean to Kira. Ever.

 

What Liam can’t understand is why Stiles has to be such a world-class fuckhead when it comes to Liam’s disorder, especially given that, you know, Stiles is kind of in the same boat – and he found Stiles’s pills by accident, okay, it’s not Liam’s fault that Stiles decided leaving the contents of his backpack scattered around Scott’s room was a good idea – so maybe Stiles could try being a little more sympathetic about this?

 

Lacrosse practice ends twenty minutes early because Stiles and Liam keep yelling at each other – well, Stiles is yelling something about kids these days and ticking time bombs, Liam is trying not to lose control and tear Scott’s best friend limb from limb, but his claws are already out. There’s a big chance this won’t end well at all.

 

Lydia and Kira start pulling him towards the bleachers, holding his arms in a tight grip that doesn’t feel like a threat he needs to fight off. So he goes easily, watching from the corner of his eye as Scott and Malia practically drag Stiles to the other end of the field. Stiles keeps gesturing wildly until Malia growls at him without even pretending to be subtle about it and Scott gives him a look that has Stiles lowering his head like a scolded puppy.

 

Liam can still hear them arguing, but he refuses to listen to what they’re saying. Kira takes a pack of Kleenex wet wipes out of Lydia’s purse and Liam can’t hold back a bitter chuckle. Stiles will probably bathe him in wolfsbane if he ever sees Liam anywhere near his backpack again.

 

“Don’t take it personal, sweetheart, he’s like that with everyone who gets close to Scott,” Lydia assures him, resting her small hand on his right knee, while Kira begins to wipe his own blood off his palms. So he’s not completely in control yet, sue him.

 

“Yeah, you should have seen what he was like with Isaac,” Kira throws in absentmindedly, then lifts her head quickly, her eyes going comically wide, the way they always do when she realizes she’s said something she wasn’t supposed to. “I mean, not that I know what went down there, I only had like, what, two months to observe them before Isaac left and Allis – I just mean, Stiles and Isaac were always snapping at each other and Scott was always rolling his eyes, and, okay, it was pretty obvious they were basically having a pissing contest over Scott, but –”

 

“Kira!” Lydia cuts in, voice high and deceptively sweet, “Not helping. At all.”

 

But Liam shakes his head and smiles thankfully at Kira, silently telling her she did help, because, besides Scott, she’s more often than not the one who manages to say something that takes his mind off problems and makes him laugh. And Stiles being a possessive asshole isn’t exactly news. Of course there was someone else before Liam that Stiles was jealous of.

 

Scott told him not too long ago, one night when they were half watching Iron Man, half talking about things they were too afraid to say out loud before the sun went down, that he and Stiles had been each other’s only friend for years. Liam doesn’t know what that’s like, it’s never been just him and Mason, they’ve always had other friends as well, but he can imagine why it’s hard for Stiles to accept that he has to share Scott now. Except Scott has to share Stiles too, and he’s not making a big deal out if it, so what Liam doesn’t understand is why Stiles is so ridiculously insecure when it’s obvious that Scott would turn the world upside down for him.

 

When Scott, Stiles and Malia finally return, Stiles looking like he got a good talking-to, Liam know what’s coming. He’s tempted to tell Stiles to save it, he’s not interested in an apology if Scott had to guilt-trip him into saying sorry.

 

But Stiles’s heart rate doesn’t go up and Liam pretends not to notice that he’s mostly looking at Scott when he apologizes. Half of a peace offering is better than nothing, he thinks to himself, watching Stiles take Malia’s hand, the two of them making their way towards the locker room.

 

Scott flops down on the bench, knocking his knee against Liam’s. “He’ll come around,” he says, the corners of his mouth tilting up, and Liam loves him a little for the way he can make wishful thinking sound like a certainty.

 

///

 

Training in the woods mostly means that they get to run around for a while without having to pretend that they’re not much, _much_ faster than everyone else on the lacrosse team or having to hold back when they wrestle because, like Scott’s mom loves to remind them, inanimate objects and the house walls haven’t developed supernatural healing abilities yet. To be fair, it’s true that they always end up breaking something when they decide to test their strength indoors.

 

Scott lets him roam about freely, telling him to get accustomed to his improved senses, but he’s never more than a few steps behind when Liam looks over his shoulder, keeping an eye out for potential danger, smiling sheepishly when he notices Liam looking back at him.

 

And Liam knows that Scott cares a lot about him, but Scott cares a lot about everyone, trying to protect and help even people that he’s never met, so it’s nice to be reminded every once in a while that Scott doesn’t mind looking after him even though Liam wouldn’t be completely and utterly helpless if something were to happen. It makes him feel giddy and light and it’s stupid and he has to bite his bottom lip because he can’t stop grinning.

 

“Hey, catch me,” he says suddenly, not bothering to turn around or raise his voice, knowing that Scott can hear him perfectly anyway.

 

“You catch me!” Scott counters, laughing, becoming a blur and disappearing between the trees before Liam can even understand what is going on.

 

And that – that is cheating, Liam thinks as he begins to run, chasing after Scott’s scent, but he still has a stupid grin on his face and he would waste time if he stopped to complain and he has to focus on catching Scott. So he just keeps on running, trying to make as little noise as possible.

 

He kind of sucks at being quiet.

 

He might also need some more training because, improved as his senses may be, he can’t pick up on a single scent when he’s assaulted by, like, a thousand, dried leaves and pine cones, a dead squirrel somewhere not too far, his own stupid anxiety. Which basically means that he has no idea where Scott is, but now he’s alone and Scott is alone too, and maybe this wasn’t the best idea?

 

He doesn’t want to end up poisoned and thrown into a well again. And he doesn’t want Scott to get hurt either. What if Scott does get hurt? He remembers something about wolfsbane bullets, what if someone shoots one of those at Scott and he’s going to be so weak that he won’t even be able to howl and Liam won’t know how to find him and Scott is going to get seriously injured and it’s going to be Liam’s fault –

 

“Whoa there! Liam, hey!”

 

He opens his eyes. When did he close them? When did Scott come back?

 

“Uh. Now? You were freaking out, I felt it,” Scott answers, looking a little puzzled, and it takes Liam a second to realize he must have said that out loud and then another one to notice that Scott doesn’t seem upset or disappointed that Liam messed up again.

 

Still, he can’t stop the apologies from pouring out of his mouth. “I panicked, I’m sorry. I lost your scent and I couldn’t focus enough to find it again it and I panicked –”

 

“And you’re still panicking,” Scott interrupts gently, his voice soothing like a lullaby. He pulls Liam closer, one arm going around his shoulders, the other wrapped around his waist. Liam accepts the hug gratefully. “Calm down, dude, it’s okay. I’m here. Wanna get some pizza?”

 

Liam lets out a surprised laugh, the non sequitur throwing him off balance, but Scott sounds excited and his own stomach starts making interested noises at the mention of food, so he stops wondering how Scott can go from werewolf to human embodiment of sunshine in the blink of an eye and just accepts it as a fact.

 

///

 

“Okay, what is it with that woman, her obsession with teenage boys is seriously making me uncomfortable, I can’t be the one only who’s freaked out by it, right? Guys?”

 

“Not now, Stiles,” Malia replies through clenched teeth, which really isn’t funny, but Liam doubts she can really look intimidating while carrying him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Then again, Stiles stops talking, so maybe she can.

 

Kira is already running back inside the abandoned warehouse, and Liam tries to do the same as soon as Malia puts him down in front of Stiles’s jeep, but he can only take three or four steps before she catches him again. His stupid ankle hasn’t healed yet.

 

“You’re hurt,” she snaps, grabbing Liam’s shoulders just a little too tight. Okay, she’s scary when she’s angry. “Scott can’t fight the Berserkers and look after you at the same time, you’re just going to hold him back.”

 

He can hear Lydia sigh next to him.

 

“We’re appreciating the honesty, Malia” Stiles pipes up and Liam can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not. The truth is Malia actually has a point, not matter how much it pains Liam to admit it. He’s hurt and useless at the moment. “It’s okay, go, we’ll take care of him,” Stiles says, opening the passenger side door and helping Liam lie down in the backseat. “Actually, was it is with you and Berserkers? Do you have a death wish, you little shit? Stop trying to prove you’re some invincible badass, you’ve been a werewolf for, like, two seconds.”

 

Liam doesn’t answer. He can’t really focus on anything other than the wolfsbane ropes that are still burning the skin on his wrists, could someone please untie them already –

 

“Oh for the love of God, Stiles! You can lecture him later, take those things off, they’re hurting him.”

 

Has Liam mentioned that he likes Lydia a lot? Because he really does.

 

The ropes are gone the next moment, but so is his state of consciousness. When he comes to, Scott is cradling his head in his lap, and Liam wants to fall back asleep but he wants to look at Scott more, because he may be bruised and battered and have dried blood on his face but he’s alive, and that matters more than the fact that Liam can barely keep his eyes open. Maybe he should ask what happened, too.

 

He can hear the girls and Mr. Argent somewhere nearby. Stiles is talking a mile a minute when he gets in the car, which isn’t surprising at all. Derek getting in the passenger seat, on the other hand, kind of is. But at least everybody seems to be okay, which makes Liam breathe a sigh of relief because it’s kind of his fault that they all had to come and save him from Kate Argent and her monsters slash bodyguards.

 

“Argent’s taking the girls home,” Scott says quietly, like he doesn’t want to startle Liam or disturb the somewhat peaceful moment. Liam hums in acknowledgement, glad that Scott doesn’t sound upset, and, honestly, Liam doesn’t even know why he thought he would. Scott never gets mad at him, no matter how bad Liam fucks up. Which makes Liam feel even worse, guilty because he made Scott worry, embarrassed because he thought he could take on a Berserker on his own. Again.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, although he’s not sure why he bothers to lower his voice, he’s aware that Derek can hear him as well.

 

“Yeah, you should be, glad we’re on the same page here. D’you think you could try to not get yourself into trouble, like, constantly? Because you’re giving Scott a heart attack every time you do and –”

 

Derek groans, rubbing a hand over his face. “Stiles,” he warns, and he sounds so tired that Liam can almost feel it in his own bones too.

 

He doesn’t want to think about how Scott must be feeling.

 

“Hey, I’m just looking out for my best friend, got a problem with that? Because I can leave your werewolf ass right here and –”

 

“Stiles!”

 

Slowly, Stiles turns in his seat until he can look at Scott and Liam, his mouth half-opened. Liam prepares himself for another sarcastic retort. But then Scott starts carding his fingers through Liam’s hair and Stiles just looks at them for a moment or two, his brown eyes going soft like he’s just realized he’s as worn out as the rest of them. He keeps his eyes on Liam for another second, then glances up at Scott.

 

“Yeah, buddy?”

 

“Let’s just go home, okay?”

 

Liam falls asleep lulled by the sound of warm voices that remind him of honey and the gentle fingers playing with his hair.

 

///

 

“You started taking your meds again?”

 

Liam drops his sports bag next to his bed and flops face-down onto the dark blue duvet. Two minutes, he just needs two minutes. Then he’ll go take a shower. “No, why?”

 

“Dunno. You’ve been better lately, I guess. Scoot over.”

 

Liam turns on his back and slides sideways, expecting Mason to lie down too, but he just sits on the edge of bed, giving Liam an expectant look.

 

Liam sighs. Okay, so they’re doing this again. Right. Okay. Yeah.

 

So he can’t actually tell Mason everything – not yet, at least. But he deserves to know _something_. Liam can admit he’s been a shitty friend, leaving Mason in the dark, keeping all these secrets and spending most of his time with people he didn’t even know less than two month ago, but. He’s afraid. He’s downright terrified of what Mason could think of him once he learns the truth, because asking your best friend to accept that you’re a werewolf is kind of a big deal. He’s terrified that someone could come after Mason the way everybody keeps coming after him to get to Scott. He’s terrified that his best friend, his very human best friend, could get hurt because Liam dragged him into the supernatural mess that he never asked to be a part of. He’s afraid he’s going to lose Mason.

 

He’s probably going to lose him anyway if he doesn’t say at least one thing that’s true.

 

“It’s, uh. Scott,” he begins, aiming for casual and missing by a mile. That’s not how his voice usually sounds and Mason knows it too. He should probably start over. “Scott’s been helping me with. You know. He’s been teaching me stuff. To control myself and not be so angry all the time.” That’s not even lie. It’s not the whole truth, but it’s not a lie either. “And yeah, I don’t know. I guess it helps.”

 

Mason doesn’t say anything for a while, doesn’t look at Liam either, just keeps frowning down at the duvet. Then he nods once, and it looks he’s mostly trying to reassure himself, before he shrugs and says, “Dude, I don’t care if McCall’s, like, teaching you yoga or something. Whatever he’s doing, it looks like it’s working, so. I’m happy for you, you know? You’re getting better and that’s what matters.”

 

Liam gives him a hopeful smile. “So you’re not mad at me?”

 

“Are you kidding?” Mason asks laughing and shakes his head. “I thought you were mad at me. And, like, trying to replace me, maybe.”

 

Liam throws a pillow at him. “Don’t be an idiot.”

 

“Too late, I’m friends with you, remember?”

 

Letting out a playful growl, Liam launches himself at Mason, and they keep wrestling until Liam’s mother has to come up and ask them to please stop trying to demolish the house.

 

///

 

Mr. Argent is giving Scott and Kira lessons on rifles that are longer than their arms, because for some reason Derek decided they should learn to handle guns. Liam, Stiles and Malia, however, are not allowed to even get close to them. Liam can’t say he doesn’t understand why.

 

But at least Scott is busy, and that means that Liam can do what he’s been planning to without having to worry that Scott could hear him.

 

Which Scott won’t, hopefully. They’re not that far away, to be honest.

 

Oh, screw it.

 

Liam takes a few hesitant steps towards Derek, Stiles and Malia, who are all sitting on a thick fallen tree trunk, studying the blueprints of whichever building they’re going to be breaking into this week. His heart is thudding in chest. This is so stupid, he just wants to ask a simple question, why are his hands shaking, fuck.

 

He clears his throat. “Um. Derek?”

 

Derek’s head jerks up, a barely audible “Hm?” escaping his lips. He stares at Liam with unfocused eyes for a moment – in which Liam feels like he should apologize for bothering because Derek was obviously focused on whatever it is that the three of them are doing – but then the corners of his mouth turn up.

 

“Oh my _God_ , you’re making him smile again, do you have any idea how creepy that is?”

 

Derek either chooses to ignore Stiles to preserve his sanity or simply isn’t fazed by whatever comes out of Stiles’s mouth anymore. Liam has yet to master the art of paying no attention to Stiles, who is now stuffing curly fries into his mouth, so maybe he gets a little distracted – they’ve been here for hours, of course he’s hungry – until Derek calls his name.

 

He blinks. “Right! Yeah. I wanted to ask you something?” And somehow he makes that sound like a question too. He’s hungry and nervous and he’s pretty sure that will never be a good combination when it comes to teenage boys.

 

But Derek gives him another smile and tells him to go ahead, like he doesn’t mind listening to the stuttering mess that Liam is slowly becoming. Alright then.

 

“Scott told me about anchors,” he says, waiting for Derek to nod before he goes on. “And, uh. He said an anchor could be a person and I. Found mine? I think? Maybe?”

 

Derek nods again but furrows his brows like he doesn’t really understand what Liam wants from him. Honestly, Liam doesn’t know either. He has no idea why he thought talking to Derek would help. Okay, maybe talking to Derek could help if Liam knew what he was trying to say, but at the moment he just wants to crawl into a hole and stay there for an hour or two or twenty years.

 

“Liam,” Derek says calmly, looking up at Liam with earnest eyes, “do you want to tell me who your anchor is?”

 

“It’s Scott, duh.”

 

The noise Liam makes is not a whimper, but it sure is pretty damn close to one. There’s a reason why he never told that to anyone, namely because Scott is almost always around, and he doesn’t want Scott to find out about the anchor issue. Yet. Or ever.

 

“Was I not supposed to say that?” Malia asks Stiles quietly, looking genuinely baffled.

 

“Uh. Well. I, uh. Yeah,” is Stiles’s very eloquent, noncommittal reply, and Liam starts wondering where he could find a spot to dig that hole for himself.

 

At least Derek seems to think it’s funny, since he’s trying and failing to smother a laugh behind his hand.

 

Malia throws her arms up in frustration. “But it’s true, isn’t it? It’s Scott, right? It’s always something about him that makes you calm down. Like, I don’t know, the memory of something you did together or something he told you that maybe didn’t seem like much at first. Like a stupid line from a movie. Or about the first time he went to a lacrosse game. Or how he tried to climb up the Christmas tree when he was four. Just – something silly. Something that shouldn’t be able to anchor you to reality, but it does, because it’s part of that person you care about so much, and it makes you feel good and peaceful and happy and human,” she rambles on, eyes wide and passionate, and when Stiles begins to gently stroke her hair, a look of pure fondness on his face, Liam knows he’s not the only one who realized she wasn’t talking about Scott and Liam anymore.

 

But the thing is – she’s right. She’s totally, absolutely right, and Liam can’t stop smiling, dumbly, happily, relieved that there’s someone besides him who understands what that feels like.

 

“You don’t have to tell anyone who your anchor is if you don’t want to,” Derek tells him, making Liam take his eyes off the fries that Malia is not very subtly stealing from Stiles. “It’s no one’s business but your own. But in case you’re wondering, it’s not unusual for a Beta to find comfort in their Alpha.”

 

“It’s also not unusual to technically be someone else’s Beta but still have Scott as your anchor,” Stiles adds, looking at Derek with an almost manic glint in his eyes, and Liam has no idea what that’s supposed to mean, but the shit-eating grin on Stiles’s face can only be a bad omen.

 

Derek lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Keep talking and I’m going to make sure those fries get inside you through a different entrance.”

 

Liam is ninety-five percent positive that wasn’t an actual, serious threat, but Stiles blinks once, twice, grabs his fries and Malia and takes off with a way too cheerful “Yo, Scotty, let’s shoot a tree!”

 

Well. Weirder things have happened.

 

“As I was saying,” Derek continues, a small smile on his lips, “it’s perfectly normal for Betas to feel safe and content around their Alpha. Ideally, that’s how it should always be. And when that feeling is more intense, the Alpha could also become the anchor, there’s nothing wrong with it.” He puts a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “Or with you.”

 

Liam nods sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck in an attempt to calm down and gather some courage to stop looking shamefully at the ground. Derek wasn’t supposed to be able to read him like a book, but it is what it is, and he really doesn’t know how to handle being openly vulnerable in front of someone who isn’t his mom or his step-dad. Or Scott.

 

Derek gives him another pat on the shoulder and goes back to his blueprints, leaving Liam alone with a heart that’s trying to jump out of his chest for reasons he isn’t sure he understands yet.

 

He darts a look at Scott, who seems to sense the attention immediately, turning around and waving happily at Liam with that silly lopsided grin on his face, as if they hadn’t seen each other in forever. Liam waves back and doesn’t try to stop his lips from curving into a smile.

 

Next to Scott, Stiles is honest to God looking down the barrel of a gun.

 

///

 

“Think it’s possible to find an anchor before you even start looking for it?”

 

Scott looks up from where he’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, patiently stringing his lacrosse stick. They’re supposed to be meeting Stiles and Kira to practice, but there’s about half an hour left, and Liam decided it was as good a time as any to try and have this conversation.

 

Scott frowns as if in deep thought, a faraway look in his eyes. So maybe it isn’t the right moment, Liam thinks to himself, and he’s about to tell Scott to just forget it, it was a dumb idea anyway, when Scott starts smiling softly and says, “Yeah. Yeah, I do. It’s possible. I know it is.”

 

There’s a story there, Liam is sure of it. No one gets the wistful look that Scott has on his face right now unless they’re recalling something that was once part of their life. Something meaningful. Important. Cherished.

 

Scott lets out a deep sigh, lost in his own head, but he keeps smiling and comes to sit down next to Liam on his bed. “Why?” he asks, wrapping an arm around Liam’s shoulders, pulling him closer for a brief second. “Found yours?”

 

One of the things Liam loves most about Scott is how warm he is all the time. Not literally, just. The way he is. Kind and bright and full of love, like an actual sunbeam. And it amazes Liam that Scott can still be like this after everything he’s been through, after everything others have done to him, trying to cripple his light and lure him into the dark. That, in spite of the supernatural insanity that surrounds him, Scott is still so undoubtedly human and not afraid to open up, finding a place in his heart for every person who needs it.

 

Liam looks up at this boy who isn’t even legally an adult yet but seems to have taken it upon himself to protect the world and says, “Yeah. I think I found it.”

 

Scott grins, wrapping his arm around Liam just a little tighter. “Good. Hold on to it, then.”

 

Ducking his head to hide the smile Scott probably noticed already, Liam nods, burying his face in Scott’s shoulder and thinking _I will_ as he puts his arm around Scott’s waist.


End file.
